Merry Christmas 2017

Christmas Merry 2017 Advance SMS, Jokes, Shayari, Wishes, Quotes, Messages, Wallpapers, Photos, Pics

Funny Merry Christmas Jokes & Memes – XMAS Jokes, Shayari 2017

Funny Merry Christmas Jokes & Memes – XMAS Jokes, Shayari 2017 :- Christmas is arrived to our doorsteps to start the beginning of new phase of our life with new hopes and new memories. So, be ready to scream out and welcome “Merry Christmas 2017”. Christmas is one of the most celebrated days in the whole world and also oldest of all modern holidays. Winter season is also known as the starting of Christmas Day celebration and it is shaped by different customs & traditions. People celebrate in their own unique way and people already started buying presents, decorating houses with fancy lights and thinking about new costumes for Xmas Day 2017.

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Funny Merry Christmas Jokes & Memes 2017

Merry Christmas 2017 Jokes and Memes :

Merry Christmas is about to come and reaching with all new effects of happiness, conveying xmas warm wishes on Xmas Day makes it more glorious and important. It is the time to start a great journey of our life in such a way that will make more wonderful Christmas celebration. Besides that, people celebrate this great festive season either at home or go to restaurant and enjoy the auspicious day with their loved or beloved. On this auspicious day, special guest come at home and capture best moment of that day. People also take Xmas Tree selfies with their friends, relatives etc. Basically, small kids love the Xmas celebration because Santa present gift-items at streets. All these is takes place at 25th Mid-night which is the most auspicious day of Christians.

Also CheckTop 60+ Merry Christmas Wishes Whatsapp Status 2017

Prior to the arrival of Christmas, people also start plans about cooking new dishes and cookies at their home. However, some people love to play different games in a funny way with their friends or beloved. In fact, if you budget is low then you don’t need to sacrifice because there are several ways and ideas in order to celebrate the Merry Christmas in a unique way. Som, if you’re living at home on this special occasion then you don’t have to feel bored as there are some creative ideas that will bring fun and delight on the auspicious event. Here is the great collection of the Best Merry Christmas Jokes and Funny Memes that will help the people to celebrate the day with more fun and enjoyment.

 

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Christmas Day Memes and Jokes 2017

Christmas Day Jokes 2017 :

 

Hey buddy, Christmas cannot be celebrated without love and laughter. Here we have posted One Liner Christmas Jokes 2017 to tickle your funny bone and put you in the right mood. So enjoy some Xmas or Christmas humor. If you like them then also forward it to all your friends so that they can have a laugh as well !

  • “Christmas is in my heart twelve months a year and thanks to credit cards, it’s on my Visa card statement twelve months a year also.”

 

 

  • It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?”
    “Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.
    “That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”
    “Before the store opened,” countered the prisoner.

 

  • Who’s there?
    Snow
    Snow who?
    Snow business like show business!

 

 

  • He believes in Santa Claus.
    He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.
    He is Santa Claus.

 

 

 

  • We, your cats,
    at Christmas say,
    Thanks for caring
    for us each day.
    We love this season,
    all green and red,
    And by the way,
    the hamster’s dead.

 

  • Meow, glub, meow, glub,
    a merry Christmas Wish.
    Meow, glub, meow, glub,
    from your cat and goldfish.

 

  • I’ve always loved
    the Christmas Feast.
    I’ve heard this year
    it’s ham.
    Too bad I’ve other
    plans this time.
    Love, Your Pot-bellied Pig named Sam.

 

 

Saint Nicholas is the main Clause.

His wife is a relative Clause.
His children are dependent Clauses.
Their Dutch uncle is a restrictive Clause.
Santa’s elves are subordinate Clauses.

 

Christmas Day Jokes for Family Members 2017 :

  • Q: What do you call an elf who sings?
  • A: a wrapper!

 

  • Q: Why is Santa so jolly?
  • A: Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

 

  • Q: Whats the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
  • A: The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

 

  • Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
  • A: Claustrophobic.

 

  • Q: What’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies?
  • A: Snowballs.

 

  • Q: How does a Jew celebrate Christmas?
  • A: He installs a parking meter on the roof.

 

Merry X-Mas 2017 Funny Jokes:

The 4 stages of life:

1. You believe in Santa Claus

2. You don’t believe in Santa Claus

3. You dress up as Santa Claus

4. You look like Santa Claus

What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.

 

 

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soot’s him

 
What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
Sandy Claws!

 
Why did Santa send his daughter to college?
To keep her off the North Pole

 

 
Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soot’s him

 

 
Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.

 

 
How can you tell a family doesn’t celebrate Christmas?
The lights are on, but nobody’s a gnome.

 

 

How does an elf get to Santa’s workshop?
By icicle.

 

 
What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve ?
They go into town, and blow a few bucks.

 

 
Why did the snowman have a smile on his face ?
Because the snowblower was coming down the block.

 

 

Best Christmas Xmas Funny One liner Jokes :

 

  • What is the best Christmas present in the world?

  • A broken drum – you can’t beat it…

  • Christmas is truly a magical moment.

  • The year you stop believing in Santa Claus is the year you start getting clothes for Christmas.

  • Your money disappears into thin air.

Top 20 + Merry Christmas Jokes for Friends and Kids :

  •  What’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies? A: Snowballs.
  •  What nationality is Santa Claus? A: North Polish.
  • What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
  • How does a Jew celebrate Christmas? A: He installs a parking meter on the roof.
  • What do you call Santa’s helpers? A: Subordinate clause
  • What’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies? Snowballs.
  • Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
    Because he had low elf esteem.
  • What happens when you use the fireplace on Christmas Eve?
    You Crisp Cringle.
  • Father Christmas: What’s your favorite Christmas story?
  • Elf: The one where the three creatures are scared of the Big Bad Wolf and they grow on trees!
    Father Christmas: You mean ‘The Three Little Figs’.
  • One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ocean. There was a romantic full moon, and Huan Cho said, “Hey baby, let’s play Weeweechu.”
  • “Oh no, not now. Lets just look at the moon”, said Jung Lee.
  • “Oh, c’mon baby, let’s you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and it’s the perfect time,” Huan Cho Begged.
  • “But I had rather just hold your hand and watch the moon.”
  • “Please Jung Lee, just once… play Weeweechu with me.”
  • Jung Lee looked at Huan Chi and said, “OK, we’ll play Weeweechu.”
  • Huan Cho grabbed his guitar and they both sang…
  • “Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.”

 

Xmas Funny Jokes for Relatives :

Three Wise Women
(as opposed to Three Wise Men)
Do you know what would have happened if there had been Three Wise WOMEN instead of Three Wise MEN?
The WOMEN would have:
– Asked directions, – Arrived on time,
– Helped deliver the baby,
– Cleaned the stable,
– Made a casserole, and
– Brought practical gifts (like diapers!)

 

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor.
Which one picked it up?
Santa of course, because the other two don’t exist!

 

 

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.
After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles.”
“She did,” he replied. “But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?”

 

A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, “Hmmm…. That’s funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills.”
The boy quickly replied, “That’s right, lady. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward.”

 

Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey – he’s always stuffed!

We had grandma for Christmas dinner?
Really, we had turkey!

 

 

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve!

 

 

What would a reindeer do if it lost its tail?
She’d go to a “re-tail” shop for a new one!

 

 

As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?” The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, “Didn’t you get my E-mail?” By Adam Sandler

Funny Merry Christmas Jokes with quotes and wishes

The celebration of Christmas eve has been started with new hopes and beginning and also contemplates that Santa Claus will come and disseminate a few endowments and chocolates to all different areas too. Upon the arrival of special Christmas occasion every single person started the trade of blessing to other with hyped Christmas Funny Jokes and Memes. So, christmas day pass your glow sentiments to somebody who love and cares by showing love and affection through jokes and memes. Though, a best blessing with funny X-Mas 2017 Memes, Xmas Jokes convey your beloved ones to mind somebody and depict your profound to friends and relatives and make your relationship more solid.

  • A cute thing I tell my kids is that if you fart on Santa’s lap, he’s required by North Pole law to bring you two of everything you ask for.
    A perfectly managed Christmas correct in every detail is a sure sign of someone who hasn’t enough to do.
    December 25 is National Jews Go To The Movies Day.

 

 

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Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Avery Avery who?
Avery merry Christmas!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Donut
Donut who?
Donut open til Christmas!
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Rabbit.
Rabbit who?
Rabbit up carefully, it’s a present!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Centipede.
Centipede who?
Centipede on the Christmas tree.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Snow Snow who?
Snow business like show business!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Wayne Wayne who?
Wayne in a manger…!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Mary Mary who? Mary Christmas !

 

 

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So these all are the Christmas 2016 Funny Jokes and Memes from our side. Please don’t forget to share with your friends, relatives, colleagues an family members via social networking sites like facebook, twitter and google +.

 

Summary
Review Date
Reviewed Item
Funny X-Mas Jokes & Memes 2017
Author Rating
5

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Updated: February 3, 2017 — 6:24 am

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